Lisa Jander is a Certified Life and Relationship Coach, CTACC, Public Speaker and Author of a book titled, “Dater’s Ed: The Instruction Manual for Parents.” She is the Leading Expert in coaching parents and teens to learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.” Lisa has mentored and coached hundreds of teens and is known by parents as the “Teen Dating Mechanic.”
Lisa is sought after by schools, churches, youth coalitions and other youth affiliates to help eradicate the negative cultural norms of unguided teen relationships through her powerful seminars and workshops using the analogy between driving and dating. Lisa believes in a proactive education to avoid the need for a reactive solution.
Lisa helps parents and their children define dating and establish boundaries that are tangible, measurable and can be implemented at any age of development.
Read what Lisa had to say in a recent interview:
What makes you an expert on this subject?
"Bachelor’s degree from Michigan State University, Former Relationship Coach for a Video Dating Service , 25 years public speaking and training. Personal Coach to over 800 individuals and facilitated several group workshops for thousands of teens and their parents. The real reason is …"
Why is this your passion?
"Because we are in the middle of a Teen Dating Crisis! Did you know that very few teens fail Driver’s Ed – millions fail at dating. Why? Because there is no curriculum, no supervision and no structure. In the dating world, teens are driving blind. I don’t promote teen dating – our culture does. My curriculum uses driving and cars as the analogy as the vehicle for a proactive education to avoid the need for a reactive solution LONG before teens begin dating. Teens don’t get the green light to drive without an education, so why do they get the green light to date without an education? Are teen’s boundary lines in concrete or sidewalk chalk? Do teens assemble a Pit Crew to keep them from crashing and burning? How will teens recognize the Emergencies and Hazards of dating so they don’t end up in the junkyard of broken hearts? Safe teen dating does not happen by accident."
What led you to write the book, Dater's Ed and create the online curriculum, Teen Dating License?
"In 2005, my son was 15-years-old and enrolled in Driver's Ed. Like millions of other parents, my job was to ride along in the passenger's seat to help him navigate while he logged hours and learned how to drive safely. One day, he was practicing his parking skills when the vision of what "parking" meant when I was a teen flooded my brain! Later that night he spoke the words that terrified me, 'I can't wait until I get my Driver's License so I can DATE!' What??? Where is the manual for THAT???
Dater's Ed is to dating what Driver's Ed is to driving. I could not have managed the teen dating years without it!"
What is the widespread problem you help people solve?
"I give parents the tools to keep their teen from becoming a statistic in the teen-dating crisis and avoid the 5 detours that take teens off course:
teen sex and pregnancy
teen drug and alcohol abuse
teen dating violence and abuse
teen depression, anxiety, and suicide
digital abuse including textual harassment and sexting
We have implemented tons of safety devices for driving since I was a teen: seatbelts, airbags, Anti-lock braking systems. What have we done to improve the safety of teen dating to keep our children from having an accident?"
What is it that you say that the others don’t say?
"The difference is that I use driving and cars as the analogy to cement the concepts while teaching teens how to 'date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.' I use road construction to explain teen brain development like the neural pathways that build the bridge from the teen amygdala to the adult prefrontal cortex. I will use a car part like a fuel pump to explain how the pituitary gland pushes hormones through the body. I frame up future performance by describing what happens when you rush the assembly process or when the manufacturer has a bad reputation. Using these analogies helps parents and teens shift their perspective using a vehicle that everyone can relate to – especially teens."
What is a common myth people believe that you can debunk?
"Just because your teen does not seem interested in dating, does not mean they are not gathering data. A 12 year old sitting in the passenger seat may not have expressed an interest in driving, but he or she has had plenty of opportunity to form a belief system around road rage, texting and driving, speeding and even how to park just by observing. The reality is that just because a parent tells a teen they can’t date until he or she is 16 does not mean you can lock up the desire in the garage until then. Most teens have turned the key and our revving the engines LONG before their parents know it and LONG before they are ready."
Here are links to some of Lisa's LIVE TV Segments:
If you don’t have any luck finding her there, she is probably on a roof watching hot air balloons with a bunch of crazy teens, singing off key. If you see Lisa wandering aimlessly in a mall parking lot with her keys in her hand, please help her find her car.